Faithfully Working In Me

Posted on April 29, 2024 by S. J. Little

While my husband finished his breakfast, I let our toddler cuddle up on my lap, or what was left of it. At 36 weeks pregnant there’s not a lot of room left on my lap for her.

We chatted about the plan for the day.

I gave my daughter a little squeeze. “You get to stay with Grandma today while I go to a doctor’s appointment for baby.”

My toddler rested her head against me. “Strong and healthy.”

“That’s right. The doctor is checking to make sure baby is strong and healthy.”

I glanced across the table at my husband. “It’s a routine appointment. They’ll likely want me to book another one for next week since I’m so far along now. What are you up to today?”

My husband launched into a description of his expected meetings and the project he had on the go at work.

His words trailed off when our daughter sat bolt upright, shock covering her face.

I laughed. “Baby just kicked you.” I had felt the strong movement too.

Her shock turned to a grin, as she shifted to rest a hand on my belly.

“You really felt that didn’t you?”

“More?”

“He might kick you again, but I don’t know if he will. Sometimes he kicks a lot, but sometimes he is sleeping. I think he was sleeping just a minute ago, but then he kicked you.”

It wasn’t until the next morning that I found myself thinking about how the movements of my soon-to-be-born baby can stand as a meaningful reminder to me of how God works in my life.

Let me explain.

The kicks of an unborn baby are a wonderful, reassuring thing (though sometimes uncomfortable). Each kick is a reminder that he is alive and active. At checkups, the doctor asks if I’ve been feeling the baby kick because it is an important indicator that the baby is doing well.

Yet the baby isn’t always kicking. Sometimes he is sleeping.

More often than not, it is when I am busy or walking about that he sleeps. Then, within minutes of my sitting down or lying down to relax, I feel him start kicking.

His movements aren’t always the same either. Sometimes I feel his kicks on the right side, sometimes on the left. Sometimes he jabs at my ribs (those aren’t so comfortable), while other times he kicks deep within me. At times his movements are big and pronounced, visible to those sitting beside me. At other times, they are subtle and easy to miss. Still other times his movements are not kicks at all. Instead they are the steady rhythm of hiccups.

When I don’t feel him actively moving, does it mean there is a problem? No, unless the stillness lasts too long. He is most likely taking a nap while he continues to grow and develop.

Similar can be said of my relationship with God.

Sometimes I can see and feel that God is actively at work in my life. I know that I am walking with Him and He is growing me closer to Him.

Other times, I can’t feel Him. I sometimes start to worry – am I still following God? Have I become distant? Is He still at work in my life?

Just because I can’t feel God at the moment, doesn’t mean there is something wrong. God can still be at work in my life, even when I don’t feel it.

Often it is in the seasons of busyness that I feel Him less – such as the season I’m about to step into as the mom of a newborn.

That said, to help my baby’s growth and development be at an optimum, I must continue to eat a reasonably healthy diet, take my prenatal vitamins, and drink water – lots and lots of water.

Regardless of whether I have felt my baby kicking in the past while, I continue to eat for his optimum growth.

The same should be the case in my walk with Jesus. Regardless of whether I feel super close to God at the moment, it is still critical to be ingesting a healthy spiritual diet – Bible reading, worship songs, prayer, and times of fellowship with other Christians.

These elements will help keep me growing and learning more about God whether I feel it or not.

Today, whether I feel it or not, may I trust that, “He who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 1:6 CSB)

I Want To Give It To You

Posted on October 31, 2023 by S. J. Little

Wandering into the kitchen, my toddler spotted the cut-up cantaloupe in a container on the table.

Excitement flooded her face.

She pointed toward it. “Yeah, yeah.”

“You want to eat some cantaloupe?” I ask.

She points into her mouth and pretends to eat. “Yum!”

“Okay, you can have some cantaloupe. Climb up on your chair and then I can give some to you.”

Her face fell and she began to whimper.

“You don’t need to cry. I will give you some, but you need to be in your chair.”

Tears appeared as her crying intensified.

I continued placing the rest of the breakfast items on the table.

Once complete, I turned my full attention to my little girl. She was still crying, clinging to her toy puppy.

I met her gaze. “Why are you crying?”

She pointed at the cantaloupe.

“You want to eat cantaloupe?”

She nodded.

I took her hand. “I want to give you cantaloupe, but you need to be in your chair for me to give it to you.”

Sniffling, she let me guide her to her chair and set her in it – though she often climbs into it all by herself.

She buckled herself in while I reached for her bib and tray.

I set her puppy aside.

She pointed at the cantaloupe again. “Yeah, yeah.”

“Can you ask nicely?”

She rubbed her chest to sign “please.”

I picked the container up. “Nice asking. You are in your seat now, so I can give you some cantaloupe.”

I put a piece on her tray.

She eagerly reached for it and took a big bite.

I grinned. “Cantaloupe is yummy.”

Later, as I went about my day, I found myself wondering if there has ever been a time when I asked God for something and His response was not “Yes” or “No”, but “You’re not ready for it.”

The Old Testament has plenty of examples of this, perhaps one of the clearest being the Israelites as they headed toward the Promised Land.

God had dramatically rescued the nation from slavery at the hands of the Egyptians. Before too long, they arrived at the border of the land God had promised to Abraham and now desired to give to Israel.

It was an abundant and prosperous land. It would have been such a blessing, but when the time came to go in and receive what God desired to bless them with, they chickened out.

God told them to go forward by faith, but they didn’t.

Their hearts were not in the right place. They were not ready to receive what God wanted to give them.

As a result, God made them wander in the wilderness for 40 years until that generation had died off.

Before I go any further, I must pause to remember that this allegory does not relate to God’s love. God’s love for me is unchanging. It does not depend on my goodness. God loves me and He will always love me no matter what I do.

It also doesn’t relate to the salvation God gives. Salvation is not based on what I can do. Salvation is based on what Jesus did on the cross. I do not deserve that salvation, but God freely gives it. My job is simply to receive it with thankfulness.

Back to my story with my daughter.

I wanted to give her cantaloupe. That was the whole reason I’d placed it on the table in the first place.

The problem was, I wanted her to be ready to receive the cantaloupe. I wanted her to be in her seat with her bib on.

My daughter wanted the cantaloupe but did not want to sit in her seat.

This had no bearing whatsoever on whether I love her or not. Rather, the thing at stake was whether she would get to eat the cantaloupe.

Being a mother who cares about my daughter’s health and happiness, I wanted her to eat the cantaloupe. I knew it would be enjoyable and good for her.

I was glad when she finally complied to sit in her seat so I could give it to her.

Does God feel this way about me sometimes? I suspect so.

Psalm 81:10-11 seems fitting to consider here.

“I am the Lord your God,
who brought you up from the land of Egypt.
Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it.
But My people did not listen to My voice;
Israel did not obey Me.” (CSB)

God wanted to bless the Israelites. He really did, but He wanted them to be ready to receive it.

Am I ready to receive what God wants to give me?

In the Old Testament, very often God’s promises had to do with physical blessings (the Promised Land, good health, national security, etc.). In the New Testament, more often God’s promises are concerning spiritual blessings. (Indeed, in the New Testament, Jesus goes so far as to warn that I will face trouble in this physical world. (John 16:33))

One spiritual blessing God offers to give me is peace – a deep heart-level peace.

Shortly before going to the cross, Jesus said, “Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Don’t let your heart be troubled or fearful.” (John 14:27 CSB)

Two things catch my eye in this verse. First, there is something Jesus desires to give me: peace. Second, there is something I must do to be ready to receive it: not let my heart be troubled or fearful.

This is only one example of something God wants to give me, yet I must be ready to receive it.

I love the way the hymn “Trust and Obey” puts it:

“Trust and obey, for there’s no other way
to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.”

It goes on to say:

“But we never can prove
the delights of His love
until all on the altar we lay;
for the favor He shows,
for the joy He bestows,
are for them who will trust and obey.”

Have I been walking in the peace and joy of the Lord recently (not a superficial happiness, but that deep heart-level joy)? If not, maybe I need to check to make sure I have been trusting and obeying the Lord.

What’s Grabbed Your Attention?

Posted on September 26, 2022 by S. J. Little

Hearing my baby fuss, I scoop her off the mat. She’s bored and getting tired, but it’s not nap time yet.

I glance around. What can I show her that will capture her interest?

The window. She likes looking out.

Turning toward it, I spot movement. A neighbourhood cat is just outside.

Perfect!

I waste no time in settling my baby on a low bookshelf in front of the window.

Supporting her from behind, I notice that her head is tilted down. She’s not looking outside. She’s looking at her toes.

Attempting to navigate the tightrope between redirecting my baby’s attention and scaring away the fluffy cat, I speak eagerly, “Do you see the cat?”

No reaction from my baby.

I try snapping my fingers where I want her to look. “There’s an orange cat outside.”

Still nothing.

The large cat is beginning to meander away.

I tap the window ever so slightly. “Look outside.”

My baby’s attention remains transfixed on her toes.

As the cat prepares to round a corner out of sight, I throw caution to the wind.

I tap louder. “It’s a cat!”

Nothing.

The cat wanders out of sight and my baby, well, she is still admiring those toes of hers.

I sigh.

My baby gets excited when she spots our cat, so I thought surely she would be fascinated by a large orange cat outside. Her interest in her toes started several weeks back. Wouldn’t a cat be a thrilling change?

It likely would have been, if only she had looked up and noticed it.

Then I pause to wonder, “How often does God feel this way about me?”

How often does He try to show me something new and bigger – something beyond myself? Yet there I am just staring down at my toes totally unaware of His attempts to capture my attention.

What is it that holds my attention, distracting me from what God wants to show me? Is it something bad?

Maybe, but not necessarily.

My baby’s fascination with her toes is, indeed, a healthy part of baby development. She has, so to speak, “found her toes”.

When she first found her toes we were excited.

Now that she has spent much of the past several weeks studying those toes, I wanted to take her further. I wanted to show her something new in the world beyond her toes.

Is the same true of me?

Is there some good and healthy area of life that I have become fixated on for too long? Does God want to show me something more? Something beyond myself?

(Please note that when I speak of something new and something more, I do not mean something beyond the Bible. God never contradicts His written Word.)

Are there examples of this sort of problem, where someone’s attention has been grabbed by their toes when God wants to show them something more?

The disciples sometimes had this problem, as we read in Matthew 16:5-12:

When they went across the lake, the disciples forgot to take bread.

“Be careful,” Jesus said to them. “Be on your guard against the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees.”

They discussed this among themselves and said, “It is because we didn’t bring any bread.”

Aware of their discussion, Jesus asked, “You of little faith, why are you talking among yourselves about having no bread? Do you still not understand? Don’t you remember the five loaves for the five thousand, and how many basketfuls you gathered? Or the seven loaves for the four thousand, and how many basketfuls you gathered? How is it you don’t understand that I was not talking to you about bread? But be on your guard against the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees.”

Then they understood that He was not telling them to guard against the yeast used in bread, but against the teaching of the Pharisees and Sadducees. (NIV)

Can you think of other examples?

Okay, that’s a deep thought, but how do I apply it to my life?

How do I tune my ears to be ready when He calls for my attention?

In the past, when God sought my attention, He has done so through my standard daily Bible reading time. At other times, it has been through the teaching of godly pastors. A wise word from a friend or family member is yet another way God has grabbed my attention before.

As I go about my day today, may I be intentional to include time in the Bible, solid Christian teaching, and wise friends, as I keep my eyes open to what God may want to capture my attention with.

The Empty Pond – Increasing Capacity for God

Posted on November 25, 2021November 25, 2021 by S. J. Little

I followed the familiar path, thankful for a chance to get outside. The air had a chill, but only the smallest patches of snow lay where the sun could not find them hidden beneath the shadows. Otherwise, the ground was dry.

In fact, everything was dry. The grass was brown and the trees stood bare. The leaves, the trees had dropped, crunched under my feet. There was little colour anywhere beyond brown, brown, and more brown.

I stepped through the fence and swept fallen leaves off the bench before sitting on it. I stared at the pond in front of me. It was empty. There was no water.

Our summer had been longer and more dry than most years. The pond that typically had at least a little water all year round – indeed, sometimes enough to skate on in the winter – now lay empty.

It was more than that, though. This fall, not only had the pond become empty, but the typically impassable gooey mud of the pond bed had dried out to the extent that the property owner was able to drive heavy machinery through the pond. I could still see the thick tread marks.

The heavy machinery had been used to push dirt around. A large mound lay to the side. Much of the pond bed was now raw exposed dirt.

Yet, as I sat there, I was not displeased at the sight of thick tread marks and mounds of dirt because I knew the purpose.

The property owner had dug the pond deeper. Why? To increase its capacity. When the winter snow melts and spring rains come, the pond will be able to hold even more water than before. This will make it less likely to dry out when the following summer turns to autumn.

This deepening of the pond bed was something the property owner could only do during the rare times when the pond dried up. Not only did the pond need to be empty for such work to be done, but the mud at the bottom of it needed to dry for long enough to support the weight of the heavy machinery without causing it to sink and get stuck.

I leaned back on the bench listening to the occasional bird call in the otherwise silent afternoon.

Surely there was something to be learned from this pond, a lesson I could learn.

A sober thought came to me.

It is only when I am empty that God can do the work of increasing capacity in me.

True, there are many ways God works in my life.

While the property owner could trim the bushes around the edge of the pond, or add stones to the path leading to it while it was full, there are some kinds of work he could not do until the pond was beyond empty.

Likewise, God can work in my life in many ways, but some kinds of deepening can only be done when I am empty – empty of myself.

So what is it that the Lord wants to increase my capacity for? Some things, such as His love, His joy, and abundant life, He wants to give everyone who believes. Not a problem-free life, but a life marked with the inexpressible joy and peace that only comes from Him.

In John 10:10b, Jesus said, “I have come so that they may have life and have it in abundance.” (CSB)

Other translations say, “have it to the full.” (NIV2011)

Paul prayed that God would enable the Ephesians to “know Christ’s love that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.” (Ephesians 3:19 CSB)

Next time I am feeling empty and surrounded by the browns of a winter not even brightened with snow, I hope I will remember not to panic. Instead, I ought to seek God and trust that this is the time when He can do His work of increasing capacity in me for more of Him.

“Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you believe so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 15:13 CSB)

You Don’t Know What I’m Doing

Posted on October 30, 2021October 30, 2021 by S. J. Little

A while back, I decided to do an experiment. With COVID-19 concerns circling around, I figured it would be nice to have a homegrown supply of fresh lettuce so that, if we did get quarantined, we could still have fresh vegetables to eat along with our non-perishable pantry items.

With this in mind, and since it was too cold to plant outside where I live, I found a planter, filled it with dirt, and planted some lettuce seeds.

For the following weeks, I kept an eye on the plants as I watered them. Sure enough, the seedlings came up, though not all of them. I’d known some of the seeds might not come up, so I wasn’t entirely surprised.

I kept watering and observing the plants as they sat in my kitchen window. A few weeks after the seedlings sprouted, however, I began to suspect a problem. They weren’t getting enough sun.

Once I realized this and began moving the planter to various windows throughout the day or leaving it outside when the afternoons were warm enough, the lettuce began to grow strong.

I tell you all this to set the backdrop of what I really want to focus on.

Because some of the seeds hadn’t sprouted, the planter had sections of dirt that were bare and not growing anything. I wanted to change that.

Having realized that the lettuce needed more sunlight than the window provided, I decided to plant something else in those empty spaces.

Radishes, I thought. They grow easily and quickly. Therefore, I found a few radish seeds and hid them in the dirt where nothing was growing.

A couple of days later, as I went to water the lettuce, I poured the water where the lettuce plants needed it, then I poured water on those blank empty spaces of dirt.

In my head (I don’t think I said it out loud, though I may have) I told the lettuce plants, “You don’t know what I’m doing, but I do.”

It seems like a silly statement, especially when addressed to plants. Yet, when I think about it, I believe I can learn something from it.

From the lettuce’s perspective, I’d just given them the water they needed. Then, for no apparent reason, I poured water where no visible plant was growing.

It’ll probably be a few more days until the radishes show their heads. Until then the lettuce will continue to wonder why I would water the lifeless dirt rather than just watering the plants.

I wonder how often God has used me to water what to me appeared to be empty lifeless dirt?

It could be a random conversation I had with someone at the bus stop, or a smile I gave the woman who was clearly having a hard day. Perhaps it’s even a Facebook post with a Bible verse. I don’t know.

Some of these moments seem small and insignificant to me. Some of them feel random and impulsive, but maybe, just maybe, God is using those moments to water the unseen seeds that will begin to sprout one day.

I might wonder at what God is doing, and why He pours the perfectly good water on the lifeless dirt. It might appear to be a waste, but with God, nothing is wasted.

God knows what He is doing.

My job is to trust and keep following Him.

“Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, be steadfast, immovable, always excelling in the Lord’s work, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.” 1 Corinthians 15:58 CSB