I set my baby on her feet. “There, you’ve got your pyjamas on. Now it’s time for your sleep sack.”

I fetch her sleep sack – a wearable blanket to keep her warm at night.

She begins to fuss.

Scooping her up I slide her arms into the sleep sack then do up the zipper.

“I know you don’t like going to bed, but you’re tired and it’s nighttime.”

Her fussing increases and switches to a repeated word. “Bear Bear. Bear Bear. Bear Bear.”

I glance around the room. “I don’t know where Bear Bear is, but we can go find him.”

My baby in my arms, we hunt for her favourite teddy bear.

At length we find him in the kitchen.

“There’s Bear Bear.”

I lower her so she can pick up the teddy bear.

She does, clutching him to herself and relaxing. “Bear Bear.”

I cuddle her close. “You like Bear Bear a lot.”

A few minutes later, I place her in her crib. She clings to her teddy bear and cries.

“Goodnight.” I say, “Have a good sleep.”

I close the door and fetch the baby monitor.

Watching the video feed on the little screen, I observe her hugging the bear close. When she stops crying and lies down, she still has the bear securely in her grip.

She croons, “Bear Bear,” before falling asleep.

The following morning, when I go to lift my baby out of her crib, her first words are not a greeting for me. No, something else is on her mind.

“Bear Bear. Bear Bear.”

I lower her back into the crib so she can grab the teddy bear whom she had let go of at some point during the night.

She hugs him close. “Ahh… Bear Bear.”

Now she’s ready to begin her day.

When I set her down in the living room to play, she drops her bear on the floor and reaches for a ball.

That’s where Bear Bear is likely to spend most of his morning until naptime when she seeks him out again.

Recently, observing my baby’s interaction with her teddy bear left me pondering the question “Is Jesus my teddy bear?”

Let me explain.

Bear Bear is one of my daughter’s favorite toys. His name is one of the few words she can say. He is her lovey – the toy she seeks out for comfort at bedtime.

Do I seek God when I need comfort?

When trouble comes (such as bedtime for my baby) do I run to Jesus for help?

If so, good.

Seeking God in times of trouble is good and right. He is the One who is almighty and in control. Certainly I should seek Him when I need comfort.

As the Psalmist writes, “When I am afraid, I put my trust in You. In God, whose word I praise – in God I trust and am not afraid” (Psalm 56:3-4a NIV).

The next question is: How do I treat God when things are good?

Do I follow my baby’s example of leaving her teddy bear abandoned on the floor?

Her teddy bear could get stepped on or lost, but she is heedless of these risks. She forgets about Bear Bear until the next crisis comes.

Do I forget about God when life is going well? Does He disappear from my thoughts and my life as soon as trouble fades?

Stating that my baby never plays with her bear except at bedtime is an overstatement.

Occasionally she spots him laying haphazardly on the floor and is reminded of her great affection for him. She will toddle over to him and pick him up to play for a few minutes until the next toy catches her fancy.

Also, if someone happens to mention “teddy bear” she will be reminded of her precious “Bear Bear” and will desire to have him. She will look for him and cry if she cannot find him.

What about me? When life is good, do I only think about God if someone mentions Him or if I stumble across some other reminder of Him?

I hope I treat God better than that.

God doesn’t want to just be my rescue when trouble comes.

Don’t get me wrong. It is good to run to Him when need arises. Yet God wants to be so much more than that to me. God wants to be at the centre of my life whether my days are happy or troubled.

God wants me to acknowledge Him in all my ways (Proverbs 3:6). God wants everything I do to be done for Him (Colossians 3:23). He wants me to always be giving thanks to Him (Ephesians 5:20).

That sounds like a lot more than only seeking Jesus when the going gets hard.

This week, may Jesus be more than just my teddy bear. May I not forget Him when the going is easy, but rather, may I walk closely with Him now and always.

May my prayer be the words of the song, Be The Centre:

[Jesus], be the fire in my heart.
Be the wind in these sails.
Be the reason that I live.

Toddler learning to walk behind title: Learning to Walk by Faith

 

The Bible tells us that we are to walk by faith, not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7). Do Christians instantly master walking by faith the moment they meet Jesus, or is it a process?

I’ve been watching my baby learn to walk recently. It’s been quite intriguing. Let me tell you what I mean.

—*—

“Can you do it? Can you walk to Mommy?”

Squatting across from my baby, I coax her to take a step. My husband holds her just out of my arm’s reach.

Will this be the moment?

I look at my husband. “Do you think she can do it?”

She’s been doing all the right things. She loves strolling the hallway holding my fingers. Recently she’s gained confidence in holding onto only one finger. She’s been getting so much more stable. Surely she can do it. Surely this will be the moment.

“Come on, girl. You can do it. Come to Mama.”

Clinging to her dad’s hand, my little one steps toward me as far as she can.

I shift back leaving a foot-long gap.

“Come on. You gotta let go to walk to Mama.”

But that’s scary. She doesn’t want to let go. She might fall.

She whines a little, reaching for me, but not wanting to let go.

Then she does it. She lets go and takes two steps before plunging headfirst toward me.

I catch her in time.

We cheer. She beams her biggest smile.

I turn her around.

“Now walk to Daddy. You can do it.”

She takes a deep breath.

Clinging to my finger, she walks to the very edge of my reach.

Then she does it. She lets go, takes two steps, and plunges headfirst toward her daddy.

He catches her.

We celebrate again.

My baby is walking! How exciting is that?!

—*—

The next few days I watched for her to initiate walking on her own. She didn’t.

I was surprised. I thought a baby who could walk would, well, walk.

It wasn’t until, a couple of evenings later, when my husband and I sat across the living room from each other urging her to walk between us that she walked by herself again.

This time, she went a little farther. Still, she only dared walk if one of us was there to catch her.

So many people had told me that as soon as she learned to walk she’d be running around with me chasing behind.

I subconsciously concluded that as soon as she took those first steps, it would be as though a light turned on and then within hours, or maybe minutes, she would be toddling all over. I was wrong.

For the first week, she could barely take more than 3 steps before toppling headlong. Gradually, with practice, she increased the number of steps she could take.

For what seemed a long time, she only walked if a person or soft couch was her destination – something safe to catch her fall.

It was more than two weeks after those first steps before she dared venture into the middle of the room by herself where she immediately plopped down to play with a toy.

It has been fun watching her ability and confidence grow. Both are needed to walk well.

Likewise, learning to walk by faith is a process. It does not happen overnight. To start, I must take those terrifying first steps. Then I must practice taking just a few unsteady steps again and again.

Some days I might get discouraged when I notice I am walking by sight rather than by faith. I must not let that trap me in defeat. With God’s help, I must get back up and try to walk by faith again.

Gradually my ability and confidence will increase as I place my confidence not in myself, but in my God. (2 Corinthians 3:4-5)

It takes time and persistent practice to grow in my ability to walk by faith. If my baby gave up practicing walking and simply crawled everywhere, she would never learn to walk.

I must allow myself to try again even when I fall and get a bump.

Today, may I not give up, but rather, with God’s help, may I be persistent in practicing walking by faith.

 

Clutter. It’s hard to keep on top of it.

The secret to a perfectly clean house is something I have yet to discover.

Every so often I get inspired to organize. I choose an area and brainstorm. Eventually the brainstorming changes to action… most of the time.

My most recent target was my desk, but let me back up and tell you the story from the beginning. It went something like this:

From my vantage point on the floor, where I sat steadying my baby’s attempt to stand, I scowled at my desk.

There it was, in plain sight in the living room with the eye sore stack of papers on it. There must be something I could do to make it look better.

Should I file away the papers? No. I needed easy access to them for my current projects.

Perhaps I should move the desk? Nope. Even if I could manage to shuffle things around in another area to make a new home for my desk, it wouldn’t help. The living room is where most of my baby’s toys live, and I have to be able to supervise her. If the desk wasn’t easily accessible while keeping an eye on my baby, I would end up with my papers all over the couch rather than the desk.

I caught my baby as she tottered forward. Settling her on the floor with a teddy bear, I racked my brain for a solution.

If I couldn’t put away the papers and I couldn’t move the desk, then I must need some sort of improved organization.

I smiled as the answer came to me. I would buy an organizer – perhaps a set of letter trays. Then I could sort the papers into tidy categorized piles.

Later, while stuck in a chair holding a sleeping baby, I pulled out my phone. Time to do some research.

I scrolled through plastic, wire mesh, and wooden letter trays. Some opened on the long edge while most opened on the short edge. I puzzled over which would look best in the space, while not ignoring the price tags.

I noticed that some of the trays came built as sets of three or five. Others were more flexible with the ability to have as many or as few in a stack as I desired.

Black would be the best colour in my space, I decided, and since my desk was rather crowded, it would be best if my computer monitor could sit on top of the trays.

By the time my husband came home, I’d scoured the internet and narrowed it down to eight options.

Eagerly I ran the options past him.

He listened patiently, asking relevant questions. I skimmed through the reviews on two of the options. Perhaps we would order one of them that very evening.

Then my husband asked a question that made me stop in my tracks.

“What is the main purpose for buying this? What are you trying to accomplish?”

“Well,” I rambled, “I need to organize the papers, and the space under the monitor is poorly utilized at the moment so I want to make use of that. Because our house is small, we need to make use of all the small spaces.”

Although those reasons were on my mind, my answer didn’t feel quite right. I was missing the core of the matter.

I paused to think, then answered slowly. “I suppose the biggest thing I am trying to do is make the living room look more presentable. The desk is cluttered with papers, but I need those papers easily accessible. Therefore, I need a better place to put them.”

My husband suggested that perhaps a monitor stand with shelves would work.

This seemed like a valid idea, so I skimmed a list of monitor stands, but none of them seemed just right. It was getting to be bedtime and my steam was gone.

I recorded the potential options, then put the idea aside. I had other things to focus on for the time being, such as finishing my current project.

A week or two later, the itch to fix that unsightly pile of toppling papers on my desk returned, yet I still hadn’t figured out which organizer would fit the bill.

Letter trays or open shelves, I reasoned, would merely make the mess look more like an organized mess. Rather than one pile of papers, there would be multi-layer piles.

A unit with opaque drawers for the piles to disappear into. That was what I needed.

Again I researched.

Finally I stumbled upon one I liked. It wasn’t perfect, but it would do the job. It was plastic from a familiar brand. The three drawers were a colour that would look good in my living room. They were cost-effective as well.

There was a catch… They were only available in sets of four units, each containing three drawers.

Uncertain what my husband would think of buying so many organizers, I began to brainstorm how to tell him about them. Where would we put all of them? Could we put them all to use? Why these ones?

When my husband finished work, I told him my plan. He was supportive of the idea.

We did a price check at a different store, then pulled out the measuring tape just to make sure it was a good size before we hit “buy”.

It was a bit bigger than I’d originally wanted, but it would do. Soon my papers would have their own homes and our living room would look so much better.

Then, measuring tape still in hand, I glanced down at my desk. It was a desk with one drawer, two cupboards, and two slots. Those two slots very much resembled the sort of organizer I had been searching for.

Both slots already had items in them, but they were poorly utilized. One of them only contained a few rarely glanced at books.

A quick shuffle would be sufficient to move those books to the bookshelf. Then I could use folders to organize my papers and tuck them into the slot.

No, it wasn’t drawers, but it was built-in rather than taking desktop space, and I already owned it.

So I didn’t need to buy an organizer after all. I already had one.

Shaking my head at the amount of work I’d put into trying to find something just like that slot – the slot I already had – I closed the tabs of the online stores and set my phone aside. I would make use of what I already had rather than trying to buy something new to fill that need.

All that time could have been used for something better and more productive. Something like writing my next blog post.

At least there was one thing of value from all that planning and researching. The experience had given me a new allegory to share.

You see, just as I wasted much time and effort trying to get an organizing tool when I already had one, sometimes I go to great lengths in my life trying to obtain something God has already made accessible to me.

A specific example of this could be peace. Jesus has told us:

“Peace I leave with you; My peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27 NIV

“I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 NIV

Yet sometimes, when I’m not feeling peaceful, I find myself searching for peace everywhere except in leaning closer to Jesus.

The same holds true of many other things such as rest, joy, love, acceptance, purpose, and value.

All these are things I yearn for at a very deep level. The world suggests various ways to obtain them, but only in Jesus can these needs truly be satisfied at their deepest level.

I may not realize what it is I’m actually seeking.

Sometimes I need my husband to ask that question:

“What is the main purpose for doing this? What are you trying to accomplish?”

Why did I buy that sweater that I don’t really like? Because I was trying to please my friend. Why was I trying to please my friend? Because I long for a deep sense of acceptance.

That longing can only truly be satisfied at its deepest level when I press into Jesus and embrace the acceptance He has already given me.

Similarly, the peace, love, happiness, and purpose the world has to offer doesn’t even come close to how Jesus is able to, and wants to, satisfy these longings of mine at the deepest level.

There is a reason the Bible talks about the peace God offers as passing all understanding (Phil. 4:6-7).

There simply isn’t any other peace so rich and full and deep to be found. Only Jesus offers that type of peace.

So where have I been spending my time, money, and energy lately?

When I ask the question: “What is the main purpose for doing this? What are you trying to accomplish?” Do I find that I am seeking to satisfy one of my deepest longings with something temporal?

Only God can truly satisfy my deepest longings in a rich and lasting way.

He has already offered this satisfaction to me. Why should I waste my time, money, and energy on what doesn’t satisfy?

May I pause to lean into Jesus today that He may satisfy my deepest longings.

 

I sniff the air. “I think someone needs a diaper change.”

Scooping up my baby, I head toward the change pad. The change pad is on the floor to protect my wiggly baby from falls.

Along the way, I fetch a toy – a purple rubbery block. Maybe that will serve to keep my baby entertained while I change her diaper.

I place her on the change pad. Immediately the battle begins. She cries and wriggles and tries to roll away.

I show her the purple block and hold it for her to bite. She turns her head away and cries harder.

Pulling out a clean diaper, I hold it for her to see.

“Look. It’s a diaper. I’m going to change your diaper.”

Her crying slows and she reaches for the diaper.

I give it to her.

The cartoon faces printed on the diaper capture her attention.

Seizing the opportunity, I pull off her soiled diaper and grab a wipe.

“Who do you see on your diaper? Do you see Cookie Monster and Big Bird?”

I toss the soiled diaper in the garbage and reach for the clean one in her hands.

“Time to put your diaper on.”

I tug at the one in her hands. She clings tighter.

I pull harder. She loses grip and begins to cry.

I hand the diaper back to her. She calms.

I sigh. “It’s not enough to just look at your diaper. You have to wear it.”

Thankfully I have a pile of clean diapers within reach. I grab another one and put it on her.

This interaction got me thinking.

It’s Christmas time. We celebrate Jesus’ birth with great enthusiasm. We decorate, sing songs, rejoice with family, and give gifts. It’s often a busy time of year.

As I think of the reason behind this season, my words to my baby echo in my head.

“It’s not enough to just look at the diaper. You have to wear it.”

I enjoy hearing the story of Jesus’ birth. It’s a story I’ve heard countless times before.

I try to imagine the shock of the shepherds when the angels showed up.

I wonder what it would have been like to be a wise man travelling so far as they followed that star.

I admire the nativity scene sitting on my shelf. My baby and I love looking at it.

But is that all there is to Christmas? Is it just for looking at?

No. There is more. Christmas day is just the beginning.

The reality of Jesus’ birth should change my life.

If it doesn’t, then I am no better than my baby when she admires her diaper rather than putting it to its proper use by wearing it. Holding a diaper rather than wearing it is rather pointless.

Today, as I reflect on the Christmas just past, rather than simply looking at the nativity scene and then walking away, may I let my life be transformed by seeking to understand why He came the way He did.

Picture of broom and dustpan behind title: Have I Swept the Corners

 

I placed my baby on the floor so I could tidy the kitchen.

She’s mobile now so I keep a close eye on her.

As I clear the breakfast things off the table, I watch her inspect the dishwasher.

She pulls at the bottom drawer handle. I grin as I set the dirty dishes aside. It’s incredible how much babies are drawn to door handles.

She looks down the heat vent as I wash her bib and highchair tray. It makes a fun sound when she pats it.

Then she looks at the corner. She crawls over to the white baseboards and begins grabbing at something on the floor.

I look closer.

“No, not those. Those aren’t for you.”

I squat beside her and pull something from her hand. A dried up leaf from the plants on the windowsill.

I shift her away.

Pulling out a stainless steel bowl, I encourage her to drum on it. Surely that will be a good distraction for her.

I take a moment to water the plants on the windowsill.

Next thing I know, there is my baby, reaching for those same dried-up leaves again.

I pull her away, sit her up, and place the drum right in front of her lap. I give her a toy chain link to drum with.

That entertains her for a while. In fact, that’s how I have time to record this story.

Now that my little one is mobile, I’m learning a lot about the number of crumbs I have on the floor. How is it that a little baby can find even the smallest crumb or fuzz?

She earnestly tries to grab such tiny things so as to stick them in her mouth.

Before now, I would often ignore the little bits of dirt on the floor. Occasionally I’d sweep or vacuum, but only when it got uncomfortably bad.

We have a cat. There’s lots of fur around. I didn’t let it bother me, but now here comes my baby, crawling along. When she finds a fuzz it goes straight into her mouth.

Of course, I stop her when I see her doing so. Nevertheless, it reminds me of the necessity of sweeping – even in the corners.

Then I wonder about my life. Have I been sweeping the corners or ignoring the dirt?

As a mom, I’m about to see all the dirt I’ve left in the corners of my life when my little one decides to mimic them. She’ll see what I’m doing, even the things I’m oblivious to, and she’ll copy them.

Then I’ll realize I need to sweep better.

This isn’t just for parents, though. Anyone who has younger folks in their life, watching how they live, is setting an example – even with those corners they forgot to sweep.

In fact, all of us are being watched by someone – our spouses, children, grandchildren, friends, neighbours, coworkers. They see how we live.

The Bible has a lot to say about taking care of the dirt in the corners of our lives.

Proverbs reminds us that we are known by our actions.

“Even a child is known by his deeds, whether what he does is pure and right.” Proverbs 20:11 (NKJV)

We are also told:

“Do everything without grumbling and arguing, so that you may be blameless and pure, children of God who are faultless in a crooked and perverted generation, among whom you shine like stars in the world, by holding firm to the word of life.” Philippians 2:14-16b (CSB)

Our lives are to be that lamp on a stand through which God can give light to those around us. (Matthew 5:14-16)

But how are my actions? Am I really shining? Or is there dirt in the corners blotting out God’s light in me?

I suppose I need to ask God if there are any corners I’ve missed, and then surrender them to Him so He can help me clean them out.

I need to sweep the corners before my baby gets the crumbs.